Monday, 5 June 2017

Changing expectations

 “If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.” ~Unknown

Sometimes it feels as if you are completely in control of your life, but when it comes to relationships there’s always the other person.
Especially when you're in a second relationship where you so want things to be different than in the first one. You feel in control but are you?
How often have you wanted a relationship to be something that it was not? 
Try being in a relationship where your partner has any form of autism. Their mood can change t anytime so sometimes you feel like walking on eggshells when really it shouldn't be like this at all. Or it wasn't what you imagined your second relationship to be. But to be honest; is it ever? We always make things more exciting in our heads, better. 

Sure the love is there but with someone with autism you have to do the extra steps necessary to make it really work. It's not that your loved one is able to understand the things you take for granted. They don't come natural to them, they have to be taught. You can teach them from a young age on but if they never learned those things it is even  more difficult.

Sometimes I find it hard when he is getting angry over nothing but recently I found out it is a reaction on my own reactions. If I am getting worked up over something he is getting even more worked up, if one of my sons are reacting angry, he will get even more angry or agitated. 
Action - reaction it seems. 

So how much can I expect of him? How high are/were my own expectations in the first place? Am I that perfect all the time? Is he taking me for who I am? 
Answers; my expectations are often too high; I'm not perfect; He is taking me as I am! 
To go further than that; he respects me, he wants to do everything for me and my boys, he does his part in household tasks, etc. So what is bothering me? The different social behavior? The reactions he can't control? I don't know, but what I do know is that he loves me, he doesn't take me for granted and  he wants to grow old with me... 

Isn't that what we all want in the end? 
So why what am I whining about... 
*tries to change expectations* 

© KH

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