Monday, 7 July 2014

Hard times reveal true friends

Really I always thought of myself as a positive, glass half full kind of person. I always try to be there for others even thoug if things tend to go down hill for myself at that moment. If I am good at one thing it is in hiding my feelings about how I am feeling at that moment. I am all talk and smiles. Laughing it all away.
What I truly hate don't like about a lot of other people is that if things aren't going as they aspect them to with their friends, they just give up on them. At least that is my experience. I really hope it isn't yours! It's the worst feeling I can tell you!

It happened to me when I got divorced. First a few years earlier my dad died. A few 'friends' told me after a couple of months that I should stop crying and do nice things for myself. It would be all better soon. As if you'll be over the death of your dad so soon.
Then I got divorced and I had to talk to people to vent. Who better than your friends? No they said, I was using them as a psychologist and they were nothing but. I worked a lot at the time, my kids could go to school themselves, which is where I saw those friends, and the friendship ended slowly.

Why is it that when it is going well in your life the friends stay with you but when it's tougher they are nowhere to be seen or heard for that matter? I do have to say that there is a big difference between 'real' friends and online friends who have proven themselves more real than real life friends in times of hardship!

You may never know who your true friends are until life throws you an unwelcome curveball. When this happens and the friends or family you thought would help carry you through don't, you go through stages of grief. It's devastating. As time passes, you can either be resentful, bitter and heartbroken, or you can be so incredibly thankful that you've learned a valuable life lesson.
But besides going through whatever you are going through at that period in your life, you also have to deal with and grief the loss of your friends! It's adding to the stress you already have! 
So it's worth viewing your friends you do have different. Separate the 'true friends' from the 'just friends or acquaintances' if only in your own mind.
If I change my perspective on how I view them it will save me from
having more stress. 

© KH


klaproos said...

ohhh kati, je bent verder gegaan in het engels:-)
da's oké, maar wel heftig lezen :-)
ik kom plaatjes kijken :-) en neem de eerste spreuk mee om een keertje te gebruiken :-)

Kati H said...

Hoi Klaproos, Ja ik heb een hoop Engelsetaligen die het ook lezen dus vandaar! :)

Spullen van Vroeger said...

'Vriend" is een relatief begrip inderdaad, meestal zijn het kennissen of stapvrienden, als je 1 of 2 echte vrienden hebt in je leven , mag je jezelf al gelukig prijzen! Ik probeer mezelf eraan te herinneren meer tijd vrij te maken voor deze mensen, en dus ook voor jou! Zullen we volg week zondag eens een zussendagje prikken? Wordt weer tijd! xx Mo

Kati H said...

Lijkt me een goed idee zus! :) Top! xxx