I like to cover things up in baggy outfits but let's be honest, who wants to walk around in a tent all day? You look twice the size you actually have!
I don't want to have a skinny body mind you. I just want to feel good again. I don't want to have hip pains and back pains. I want to move around normally and not be tired. I don't want that belly to be in the way of my everyday activities. That probably means I have to start working out. I hate going to a gym where all those muscle boys are flexing in front of mirrors or those skinny girls are panting. But saying to myself I will go hiking ,and then staying home sitting on my sofa, won't do anymore either. I have to motivate myself somehow. I musn't rely on others who tell me they will join me (hub) and then don't want to go. I must do this myself and for me and no one else.
Furthermore; ( and I know this 'theme' has come up in my blogs so many times but apparently it's still a thing) I must believe in myself again, I must love myself again. I must not speak (or think) negatively to myself anymore. Because accepting your body, no matter the size means that you CAN begin to change. But it all begins with acceptance. I can’t hate and criticize my body to create lasting change. It just doesn’t work. I must start with meditation again, live more mindful again and not see food as the answer to everything, even though it is not as bad as it was I must admit. I used to be an emotiol eater when I was still married more than 12 years ago or so, but I'm not now, at least I don't think I am. It's now more that both hub and I just eat things because we crave it and that's not good. I know I feel better when I eat healthier. Of course I will still crave chocolat then, but I won't feel like crap!
I have tried many times before. I hope I have the confidence in myself to begin again and to keep up.
Thanks to Jenn Hand for giving me the inspiration/motivation for this article