Wednesday, 10 August 2016

Time



Yesterday my oldest son had his birthday and turned 22 already. I find birthdays of kids always a bit of a time to reflect as a mum; where has the time gone? Before you know it they have gone out of the house and live on their own.
I know that a few years ago I wrote a blog about him leaving my home to go live at his dad's house and that I was scared of loosing him already.
I should have know better than to worry over that; after a year he came back to live here. Not only because he wanted to be back here but also because his girlfriend lives nearer here and a few other reasons.
But I know that the time will come that they will leave 'the nest'. If I'm prepeared that's a whole different matter all together.

When I was 19 I went on to live with what was to become the dad of my kids. Didn't know it then though, as I didn't know of course that we would get a divorce 18 years after we were married. So every moment the boys are living here longer than I lived at my parents house is one to be cherrished perhaps. On the other hand are they ready to live on their own yet? But was I?

Things have a way of turning out as they should. You may want to help it turn out the way you want it to but that's no use. What ever is supposed to happen will happen in the end. So all I as their mum can do is be there for them and hope that in the meantime I've prepared them enough for 'the big world' to live on their own. I can worry but as I am well aware that's a useless occupation.
But still.... where did the time go?

© KH

5 comments:

Elidir said...

Congratulations!! And start preparing for becoming a Nan... :-))) I am convinced you'll be a great Nan for your grandkids. Hug!

Daan (Dan) said...

"life is what happens while you're busy making other plans..." - John Lennon
love that quote, cos it's so true...
i look at my little boys who are now 22 and 20, and i wonder where the *&^% those sweet little guys went, who that woman is that stares back at me in the mirror...
i curse photographs sometimes, as they so relentlessly show a time that will never be back, people we will never be again...
is that a bad thing...?
only if we call it that...

{congrats on your big boy!!}

Melody Steenkamp said...

tijd vliegt inderdaad.... mijn 1e ging op haar 17e naar Nijmegen te studeren...
mijn 2e is inmiddels 25 en woont nog thuis zoals je weet.
Het lege-nest-syndroom bevrees ik overigens niet.
Zodra mijn 2e en diens meisje samen een stabiel inkomen hebben willen ze gaan samenwonen, en terecht ook, ze zijn er meer dan klaar voor. Het enige waarover ik me soms zorgen maak is hun toekomst want ja laten we eerlijk zijn ...pensioenopbouw en een huishouden runnen is niet gratis..

Kati H said...

Nope Elidir, I don't think I will be one, but even so it's still way too soon for that. ;)

Daan, No I don't want to be the person I was back then! But becoming older also means losing more and more (older) people around you. That's how it goes I know but sometimes I want to slow time down.

Melody, ja ook dat nog. Mijn moeder zegt altijd; kleine kinderen kleine zorgen, grote kinderen grote zorgen, en ja dat geloof ik!

Elidir said...

Give it time. You never know what could happen in the future. Never say never!

And getting older isn't scary. Yes, you do lose people you love and care for. It's the Wheel of Life that keeps turning. Children are following us and their children will follow them. It's how it's supposed to be. Focussing on de negative things of getting older will nog help. Getting older isn't only doom and gloon. On the contrary! You keep growing. You do get wiser. You see more, understand more, feel more. Getting older can be a lot of fun.

No, you can't slow time down. It is what it is. The time we are given is short. But we can try to make the best of it. Or almost the best of it. Cherish the moments of joy. They will be there. I promis.

You know me.... I have been in a dark space for years. Most things wen wrong and I felt horrible most of the time. Now, I am a pensioner. And I decided that I refuse to feel like that anymore. It's not easy, but when the mood's there you can do it. My glass is now half full instead of half empty. In spite of what's going on in this country and in the world. I could worry what would happen when I get older and loose it... but why would I? Today is a good day. A great day even, as I can walk around the house without pain! And tomorrow?? I will see that when tomorrow comes. Not now. I won't have it. It could ruin my day and I won't have it. It's a great day TODAY. Right NOW. I see the sun, the puffy white clouds, I feel the wind, hear cars and trains and music. I can smell the fading scent of a lily flower. Simple things that make me happy right NOW. And tomorrow is another day. HUGG!!!