Yesterday I was visiting a friend I hadn't seen in a while. We had a wonderful afternoon together and talked about what happened in our lives. At one point I told her that I found myself to be somewhat of a titmouse and I felt I hadn't been very social lately. She felt that you sometimes needed time for yourself to work out the things that were going on in your own life, that you couldn't be there for someone if you had too much on your own mind.
She's right of course but still I always feel guilty whenever I haven't spoken to people who I think I should have contacted. That's probably the first step; Stop feeling guilty for taking time for yourself.
Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. Or as my friend told me; 'You can't handle someone else's problems if you still have your own to deal with'. You just can't be there for someone so you have to take care of yourself first.
The most difficult thing there is in working on yourself is 'learning to love yourself'. Of course everyone will say that they do love themselves but try saying it in front of a mirror to yourself that you love yourself. That you love what you do, who you are, or worse, how you look like. It is damn hard, but it all starts with self acceptance. A stress free life starts with self love. I am nowehere near that I know but I'm working hard on it.
Try writing down the things your proud of or what you like about yourself.
I think I'm not a bad mum-no rephrase that; I'm a great mum! I do a hell of a job in not so great circumstances. I'm also a caring person (wanting to follow that with a 'but' but I won't)
Don’t punish yourself for wanting and needing the quiet moments. You’re human and taking care of yourself is as important as that next pay cheque or keeping in touch with all your friends in real life and/or social media. You are not selfish, you deserve it.
© KH
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