Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Adult women with ADHD

When I was about 20 and already living on my own my dad once told me I had MBD after all. It was said like I should have already known that as a fact. I didn't of course. I didn't even know the terminology. My dad explained that when I was 7 there was an article in the newspaper about MBD and that things fell into place for him. He asked the doctor about it; 'Is it possible my daughter could have this?' The doctor answered 'yes it is' and that was that.

MBD stood for Minimal Brain Damage but later they changed that to Disfunction as damage was too severe. MBD is now ADHD.
I was never tested on it but on every rapport card there is a remark like;  She likes watching the birds more than pay attention or something simular. (I still do by the way; like watching birds)
My attention slipped many times, I am loud, at times very insecure,  I do think I have ADHD.

My whole life I've been told not to talk so loudly, not to laugh so hard, not to talk before it's my turn, to sit still, not to... etc.
It's not making you very happy when even at 48 you suddenly hear your family say to you to not talk so loud. I have no idea myself I do that at the time I am doing it but it is also very degrading to hear my loved ones say that to this day.

I have accepted myself for who I am; I'm still working on things but for the most part I've accepted myself.
It does hurt that you can't be yourself, that you have to mind every step you take or everything you say. Or even write because I'm sure that there will be a lot of comment (privately) on this blog. I have chosen to write it anyway; for myself but also for other women with ADHD who are having the same problem; not being able to be yourself even though you're an adult and around family is very hard and is something they need to accept. They are the ones who need to accept you for who you are, that you can't always help being loud, or notice being loud. It doesn't help that they feel the need to put you 'in your place'. They may not see it that way, it certainly feels that way!

Maybe this will help;

Decades of failing to recognize ADHD in girls has created a “lost generation” of women

© KH


Daan (Dan) said...

i'd read the article before {when you shared it on FB} and found it very plausible, it explained a lot {about another friend who 'fits' the descriptions}. i hope it can give you peace of mind, and ways to cope with Life... {as a HSP/Introvert i recognise a lot as well...} apart from being loud, i do have a tendency to lose the ability to think coherent thoughts... under pressure, usually...
thanx for writing... :-)

Kati H said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject, Daan ! :)