Wednesday, 12 August 2015

Control




Something happened the other day that made me rethink about what to write on this blog or worse even, if I should continue writing on this blog. Without going into to much details (the person will be reading with) it yanked my chain.
For a lot of years this person tried to control my life and tell me what I could or could not do and now we're not seeing or even speaking anymore; this person was trying to prevend me from what I love most in life; writing. Writing is letting it all out, it prevends me from exploding, it helps with resting ones mind, putting things into perspective so to speak.



My son asked me if I had to do that on the world wide web but I explained to him I wasn't naming names, was telling the truth (I detest lying as he well knows; I get more mad when they tell a lie than when they are true to me) and that people who know me in real life already know who I am, what my story is and thus also know him. In all fairness, the people who really don't have anything to do here are the people from the past who made it clear that they didn't want anything more to do with me. The same people who are now screaming bloody murder that I'm writing a blog (which I'm doing for a very long time by the way).



I never pretend to be anyone else than myself. Everyone knows that. If I write a story you can read so in the label underneath the blog. If not, you can read so too. A lot of my blogs are about my own journey, about finding my own path (which is in my header). If you don't think it's for you, don't read it! It's none of your concern. No, not even if it is about my kids. Yes, my kids. If you don't raise them or pay for them, you don't get a say in my book.
But that is something I can't say probably. Because my son is getting a shitload of 'your mother this' and 'your mother that' over his handsome face. Things we never said we'd do too.



I said I didn't want to name names. I haven't. I won't. But that I'm angry is one thing you can see. I am angry that after 9 years you can't leave me alone apparently. Maybe disappointed is a better word. You can't leave me live my own happy life. Because I am you know; getting a divorce was the best decision I've made in my life! I'm beginning to find myself again. I never knew I lost myself to begin with, well I knew it but didn't want to admit it. I'm happy and I'm a bit sad for you that you can't let go of the past. That you need to belittle me still. I have let you go a long time ago, it is time you did the same. I forgave you a long time ago as well. Time for you to do the same and stop dragging our boy(s) in the middle of things. Be a man, own up to your faults.
I have.

© KH






3 comments:

Elidir said...

Don't you dare stop! This person wants to control people around him. It's narcissism but also part psychopathic. He would be needing help to control these character flaws but he will not even think that he needs help. Don't let him control you and keep writing but stay alert. Men like him have been doing the most crazy things in order to maintain their control. But please, Kati, do not stop?

Kati H said...

I won't ddon't worry.

Daan (Dan) said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIIoa5QPKTU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUtVoVIz-EI

please watch... :-)