Wednesday, 20 May 2015

30 Days challenge 10, Afraid to do

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. 
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today's Challenge;

Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.

I'm afraid to lose control I guess. I'm afraid to let go to trust the Universe, to trust that what must happen will happen. I want to make it happen for others I mean. I want to control things. I can't I know that, but I get stressed out about things I want to control but can't. There I said it.

My Youngest son wanted to be a cook. He is in his last year and had to study further of course he's just 18. A few months back he said he didn't want to anymore. He wanted something else. What he did not know yet so he got all kinds of tests at school. Last week we got the results and they really weren't conclusive. He still didn't know what he wanted. So now I'm all over him telling him to choose. Or to get a job in the meanwhile and wait a year to figure things out. But DO something besides sit there and do nothing! Does that help matters? No they don't... Do I help things acting like that? No I don't. I know that I have to let it go. Things have a way of working it out for themselves if I let go. I do know that but I don't always act on it. It is still so hard. I'm afraid to let go of the control I think I have. But to be honest; I don't have the control do I?

© KH

1 comment:

Daan (Dan) said...

very hard, but at least you're aware of your fear - more than most people... :-)