Overthinking ruins you. It ruins the situation. it twists things around. It makes you worry.
It just makes everything worse that it actually is.
Some people in our family have it, some don't or not anymore; the feeling of depression thing. Not a real depression but feeling that everything is going downhill for you, I call it a dip.
My dad had it, I have it and some people I'm not going to mention have it. You make everything that is going on in your life much worse in your head. You worry about everything and everyone and in your head it's all much worse than it really is. The kids, money, life in general. There have been periods in my life that life really was against me it felt. My dad's passing, my divorce, my dog's death ( I still can't believe she's already gone for almost a year now!) Everything hurts just more and it doesn't feel like you are being dealt the same cards as everyone else. Only you have these things in your life, everyone else is having a wonderful life and don't have the shit you have! Furthermore, you have no one to talk to about it! Everyone you know has loads of friends, go on holidays, have the time of their lives but you? You sit at home with no where to go but surf a bit on the internet.
You start to think about what you did wrong in the past and that's what you absolutely shouldn't do! The past is the past, just let that be. You don't want to go there anymore! What's done is done. You can change now if you only want to. Perhaps you don't. If you like to wallow in your own sadness, sure, be my guest but you always have a choice to get out of it. You can change if you want to! You can look for another job, you can take a different choice today, if you choose to.
Most times I want to change myself, I'm in bed and think ; tomorrow I'm going to do everything differently. To wake up and do everything all over again. Of course now I'm older I am more happy in my own home, my life and the only thing I would like to change is my body and health. It is another topic all together and I won't go there now. It is also not a reason for me to be depressed about.
It's July and everyone is going away on holiday. We aren't, we don't have the financial means to go away. That sometimes is a reason to feel depressed about. The choices I have made in the past are cause for that in part. I can't change that. So I have to be grateful for what I can do now. For what I have now. Plus stop worrying about everything and everyone.
It will be okay, it always have and it always will.
© KH
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