Wednesday Wisdom; Being in the now

We know the world only through the window of our mind. When our mind is noisy, the world is as well. And when our mind is peaceful, the world is, too. Knowing our minds is just as important as trying to change the world.  

Haemin Sunim, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: How to Be Calm and Mindful in a Fast-Paced World

First of all, how I've missed writing as a whole and writing in English! I feel like I'm expressing myself more by writing in English somehow, eventhough I am not familiar with all the English words and expressions but still, it's where my heart and mind is.
Secondly, I've missed working on myself, or rather becoming more calm, and being mindfull and in the now. I feel like I've got the anxiety back like never before just from not being who I am, from just surviving without my best friend, Jessie, my dog, who I still miss to this day.
It wasn't my intention to talk about that but writing about becoming myself again, includes her too. She was my to go to rock or my calm in the storm for 17 years. Now I feel like I've lost myself again and I have to figure out where I was or where I am.

My mind is more and more noisy these days. My head is full and my mouth doesn't stop talking when I am with people. I can't seem to become still or find the silence. Sure, I am silence when I am at home, but even there I am busy in my head, busy doing nothing on my iPad playing games that aren't even calming me but are a distraction from having to think. I don't know why, I really don't. It's survival mode full on ever since August last year.
So when I picked up Haemin Sumin's book The things you can see only when you slow down, again and started reading in it, I knew that I was missing working at my inner peace. I felt it in my body for a while now, now my mind started to agree. I missed writing as well and when I picked up the laptop, I seemed to do everything but write on it. So now I think it is time for myself once more. Time to start writing again. It doesn't matter what, all that matters is that I write, for myself, to grow.

© KH