Thursday, 31 July 2014

Going on a virtual holiday

Just a week from now I have my summer holiday. Not that I'm going away or anything. I wish I was really. The last time I was on holiday was in 2010 to France to the Loire area.
But if it were up to me I would go to Scotland of course, last time there was 2008.
I'm homesick if that's possible even for a country where I've never even lived myself. But it feels like my home away from home.

You know what I'll do? I just pretend, pretend like I'm going and will share pictures with you just for the fun of it. Come on a virtual holiday with me to Scotland and next time will go to England as well. Enjoy:

 Eilean Donan Castle

 Loch Leven

 Castle Stalker

 Flower of Scotland-Thistle


 Scottish Flag

 Urquhart Castle and Loch Ness

 Loch Linnhe

 Of course we need to eat some fish and chips!

 And go to the Highland Games
 Loch Etive

 Loch Leven

 Driving back to the ferry we got time to visit Northumberland

And Hadrian's Wall

© KH

Sunday, 27 July 2014

Music on Sunday; Summer

It's summer and the weather is hot! Not my kind of weather mind you! It's too hot for me! But a lot of people like it and in two weeks I will have two weeks holiday where I can be lazy around the house all day long! It's not all bad. Which you cannot say of the summer songs by the way. There are some bad ones out there! Was it any different when I was a kid? Nope, sorry to say it wasn't. I don't know why that is, maybe a summer song just has to have the right beat and the lyrics can be gibberish and make absolutely no sense what so ever.

There are some beauties there too. Here are some great ones and yes some not so as well. To each it's own..

This was a hit when I was a teen! Yes really!

And this one as well:

And now for the really good stuff:

I'm a fan of Will Smith, he's great, funny and just a good actor too. And he has nice songs every now and again. Happy songs. :)

© KH

Friday, 25 July 2014


My life has changed
My world turned upside down
I'm shaking trembling
I don't know what to do
Pacing up and down
Looking every five seconds
Still a red light blinking
My god I really can't stand it
I cannot live without internet connection
For even one bloody day 
(maybe more they say)

© KH

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Fighting your own battle and comparing your life

Today is a National Day of Mourning in our country for the victims and their loved ones of flight MH17.
It's a terrible thing that has happenend there and lots of lives lost for no reason what so ever.

You can't compare grief, hurt, pain. But still, I tend to look at other people's lives and think; What right do I have to cry and feel sad about my own live while there is so much hurt and pain in the world. Not to mention lives lost in a senseless act of violence.
And I'm sitting here in my little corner of the world crying my eyes out because I feel I have it bad with my partner with autism. 'my partner doesn't understand me' 'I made lots of bad turns in life and wrong dissisions and now I feel hurt' booh hoo hoo... what gives me the right to cry and feel bad while a mother, a wife, a child.. doesn't see her child, husband, parents, ever again?!

You can't compare hurt or pain. Every life is different. Everyone is fighting their own battle in life. This is mine apparently. As long as I don't come to terms with my partner's autism, how to deal with that, I keep on hurting. I musn't let that hurt me. I get stressed and from that stress I get epileptic seizures, small ones thank god but still, I get them. So why do I keep doing that to myself every time, over and over? I really don't know!
When I was married to my first husband who was a bit of a narcissist I was stressed all the time. It felt like there was a stone on my stomach the whole time from the stress. The moment I decided to divorce him the stone dissolved.
I don't have a stone now, but I do have other strange physical complaints. My doctor says it's stress related. Plus those damn epileptic seizures are back.
If I want it all to go away I do have to relax more, accept what needs to be accepted and face my own battles instead of running from them and hiding all the time. But it gets to damn hard to be the strong one always. You can't compare your live to the live of other people but having a partner with autism it's just hard not too.

To be fair: I am always really hard on myself. I just have to stop looking at other people's lives, stop comparing, stop blaming myself of the 'could haves, would haves, should haves' and work on being in the present moment. I like myself a whole lot better being more 'Zen' and being able to practice mindfulness so I have to do that.
No I'm going to do that... scraping the 'have to' as well...
Of course I do hope my hub is willing to work on himself more but I'm going to start on myself first. And no more comparing.

For the family and friends of flight MH17; my thoughts are with you and may you find strenght during this difficult time.

© KH

Monday, 21 July 2014

Autism gets in the way

It's not easy
I'd even say it's quite hard
In your head you think
You're doing it right
I guess you do live
In such a different world
Inside anyway

I still feel alone often
Or rather feel like having to do it
All alone without support
You can't help it
It's not your fault
I know that, In my mind
But that doesn't make it any easier

Your autisme gets in the way
Of having an equal partnership
But you know what I was thinking
Maybe it's just me
I might just see the bad things
More than the good ones
You have those as well I know

The world around us
Would be so much simpler
If I could let it go
Accept you as you are
Like you accept me as I am
Yes you have autism I accept it
The thing I have trouble with
Is that it all comes down to me
And I feel burdned by all of it

© KH

Sunday, 20 July 2014

Music on Sunday; Acapella covers

Just when I was thinking what to blog about this Sunday I heard a lovely Acapella version of Sting's Englishman in New York on the radio. Unfortunatelly that one isn't on YouTube but others have covered that as well.

Like these girls:

I follow this guy for quite some time now. I love him. He does every sound himself with his voice! He's just awesome!
Mike Tompkins and yes it does sound like he uses instruments but no that's his voice!

This makes truly happy:

This is a Dutch Acapella group I've been to twice. They're damn good:

© KH

Saturday, 19 July 2014

Quotes and Pics 136 Sherlock quotes

Today is Benedict Cumberbatch's 38th birthday and because of that I've made this Quotes and Pics blog about his Sherlock character.To most it's no surprise I am a huge fan of Benedicts work and I yes of the man himself.

Here are some Sherlock quotes. Happy Birthday Benedict!

© KH

Wednesday, 16 July 2014



When I started blogging some 8 years ago I never would have thought I would enjoy it this much nor would I have thought I would start to write in English. But here I am writing or attempting to write in English.
There are a lot of blogs out there. Even when I started there were a lot of them. The first blog sites I was on had loads of people interacting. Because that's what it is really; if you want to be read you have to read what others are writing and you have to comment on their work as well. In the beginning it was all well and good but now years later and several blogs later it is getting harder to do, keeping up I mean. With work, 'real life' being in the way all the time and other Social media sites one does not sit down and browse through all the countless blogsites the internet has, let alone comment on all of them. You just don't have the time even if you wanted to.. 

Now that I am writing in English I find it harder even though I like the language better, always have. The blogs I like are most in English but the people who write them are English speaking people. It's easy for them to scoop up a blog from scratch. But for 'us' non-English speaking 'folk' it's a bit harder to do. As much as we are trying, we still have grammar issues. I've gotten a lot of snearing in my first attempts of writing in English; in my poems or short stories yes even on my Fanfiction. 
And yes I'm the first to admit it: I'm the biggest grammar police officer around (not using the other word - the one my son is using!) 
But having said that: I wouldn't want to write in Dutch anymore. I just love the English language! I always was thinking more in English anyway; sometimes I do have trouble thinking of the Dutch word or phrase and that's just weird! 

I really don't think my writing is all that bad; honestly I don't. Maybe it's the content people don't like or my grammar is really off and I don't even know it. I just start to write whatever comes to mind and I don't even stop to think or check. Well of course I check things but I'm not working in Word or anything. 

Eventually you do write for yourself not for other people. I knew that when I first started all those years ago on those other blog sites. But of course it would be lovely to have more readers and comments! Everone would like that. But I am realistic as well; I am who I am and not everyone will like what I'm writing about. And I'm not going to change who or what I am. Not even to gain more readers. 
So I'm just hoping you like what I have to say and will want to leave a comment every now and again. 
And if you want me to write about something; just ask. 

Thanks to those who are reading and commenting though! It's very much appreciated! Here and on Twitter! 

© KH 

Monday, 14 July 2014

Lighten up

Sometimes Social Media is very tiresome. I mean it certainly has it's moments and I love it when I get to talk to women around the world, but still it is the written word and some still don't get what you are saying or if you're joking or not.
People tend to put everything you write on a scale sometimes. They put their own spin on it and let's face it; a lot of people just never learned to understand whát they are reading or how it is to be interpreted.

I'm not sitting here boosting my own horn so to speak; far from it! But I hope I know how to read and understand what others write and what they mean by it. Not always of course; it really depends on ones mood. And while we're at it; let's face that as well; don't we all write first and think later sometimes? I most certainly do!

Besides a lot of negative comments we're getting; do we really want those? After all the people on social media are strangers to us all. Do we know them? Not really. There are some who's opinion matter to us and the rest we really should cast aside. Even if it is hard for most.
Negativity will eat and drain your energy. Those energy eating vampires are people you don't need in your life! Try to ignore them and avoid them. If they don't get you it's their loss not yours.

Social media is a nice thing in these days and age but it can get out of hand if you don't control your own feelings about it. There are always people who are not thinking if what they are saying will hurt an other ones feelings or not. The person on the other end of the screen is a real life person after all.

But for the most part it's just real fun to be on certain sites and talk to people around the globe. In my case about one particular actor and his do's and don'ts and his career (and okay I'll admit it; his looks as well) That we also have more than him in common was something I really didn't count on and is something I am grateful for every single day. But as they say in the tv series Sherlock where Benedict (of whom we are talking of course) is most famous these days;
The Universe is never that lazy, Sherlock.
And there was never a truer saying than that!

© KH

Sunday, 13 July 2014

Music on Sunday; Classic songs of the sea

I love listening to classical music. It really calms the nerves I think. When I was a child my parents listened to classical music as well as French chansons. My sister and I really didn't like it but as we grow older we start to appreciate it more and more, at least I do, not sure about my sister but as she practices ballet from childhood on, I think she might feel the same. :)

So today I want to take you away to the sea. There are some real classical beauties made where you can feel the sea air and almost touch it. Just sit back and listen:

And of course one of my favorites:

The English composers were always very good in making you feel like you were right there in the country side; like Vaughan Williams did; but can they make you feel as if you walk along the beach as well?

© KH

Thursday, 10 July 2014

The Orange dream is over

Well, that's it then; the whole World cup dream is over. Back to 'normal' life. Millions of people were watching the Netherlands VS Argentina game last night anxiously waiting for the first goal. But that didn’t happen. It was a very dull game actually if I dare say so. I even was thinking of just chucking it and going to bed. But hoping against hope; I knew it from the start. The Dutch do this each and every time. They get too confident and let their guard down or don’t push hard enough to score.

Do I care so much about football? Well no I don’t but I do like the comradery that our nation has during a Euro cup or a World cup. Our streets all orange with flags and banners as well as a lot of people who are dressed in orange. It’s our Nation’s colour (the King’s name came from the area in France Orange)

And I do like the fair play at a WC as well; if you see the players  greeting each other or the public interacting with each other; It’s so different at a world cup or a ‘normal’ match these days.

But down go all our hopes and dreams along with the orange banners.
Of course there are a lot of good things about football being over as well.
We can go to bed at a normal hour. We can watch something else again or better yet; just leave the tele off for the evening and read a good book! Well that’s a thought!

But on the other hand; I was looking forward to a good old game against Germany. There’s a lot of rivalry there and I looked it up; we won 15 times, they did, and 10 times a draw. So that would have been a great one… But unfortunately that will have to wait till next time.

Until then: GO Germany! Because we can have animosity between our countries but when it comes down to it yeah let’s kick some Argentine butt Germany! *evil grin*

© KH

Monday, 7 July 2014

Hard times reveal true friends

Really I always thought of myself as a positive, glass half full kind of person. I always try to be there for others even thoug if things tend to go down hill for myself at that moment. If I am good at one thing it is in hiding my feelings about how I am feeling at that moment. I am all talk and smiles. Laughing it all away.
What I truly hate don't like about a lot of other people is that if things aren't going as they aspect them to with their friends, they just give up on them. At least that is my experience. I really hope it isn't yours! It's the worst feeling I can tell you!

It happened to me when I got divorced. First a few years earlier my dad died. A few 'friends' told me after a couple of months that I should stop crying and do nice things for myself. It would be all better soon. As if you'll be over the death of your dad so soon.
Then I got divorced and I had to talk to people to vent. Who better than your friends? No they said, I was using them as a psychologist and they were nothing but. I worked a lot at the time, my kids could go to school themselves, which is where I saw those friends, and the friendship ended slowly.

Why is it that when it is going well in your life the friends stay with you but when it's tougher they are nowhere to be seen or heard for that matter? I do have to say that there is a big difference between 'real' friends and online friends who have proven themselves more real than real life friends in times of hardship!

You may never know who your true friends are until life throws you an unwelcome curveball. When this happens and the friends or family you thought would help carry you through don't, you go through stages of grief. It's devastating. As time passes, you can either be resentful, bitter and heartbroken, or you can be so incredibly thankful that you've learned a valuable life lesson.
But besides going through whatever you are going through at that period in your life, you also have to deal with and grief the loss of your friends! It's adding to the stress you already have! 
So it's worth viewing your friends you do have different. Separate the 'true friends' from the 'just friends or acquaintances' if only in your own mind.
If I change my perspective on how I view them it will save me from
having more stress. 

© KH

Sunday, 6 July 2014

Music on Sunday; Contemplation

Most of my music blogs lately connect with what I've written before or with my quotes. This one really is not much different, if you're stressed you contemplate life, your life and how you are facing things. There seem to be a lot of songs about that too. And no you're not alone apparently. Comforting thought that is:

Although I love Tears for Fears, this cover is so damn good...

© KH